I have a bit of a reputation for sticking to my values (one I am super proud to have), sometimes at the expense of actually getting the things I want because I jump too soon.

Last year offered numerous examples of discoveries and disproving of myths that have been perpetuated by gender bias and have long impacted scientific narratives with real-life impacts that could have been avoided through self-reflective methods.

This comes the 37th issue of the Sex Positive You newsletter. It felt important to make it available to a wider audience.

Question 1: How to communicate with a partner who doesn’t want to try anything new?

BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. Within this umbrella term/community, there are a multitude of roles within power dynamics that you can play with. A particularly fun role is that of the mischievous brat. In this guide, we’ll cover ways to unleash your inner brat and how to navigate this dynamic while maintaining respect, communication, and consent.

I'll be returning to social media after submitting a postdoc application next week but in the meantime, here are 20/33 things I'm grateful for today (in no particular order)

"How long should foreplay last?" is a question we all have wondered about at some point.

I have been lovingly calling this toy the squid but appreciate the clever title referencing the 9 vibration patterns (on each side) and 5 tassels of this toy. 9 to 5 is a dual-ended, dual-motor vibrator. Use the vibrating handle on one end or the whip-like tassels on the other. The options are endless.

Check out the following five ways you can play with this toy that work with or without a partner thanks to the playful shape!

I envy the people who can recall with exquisite detail the sensations, smells, and sounds of their sexcapades. Not only because it’s a delicious talent but also because it means they can more easily reflect on what rocked their world and what might not be worth doing again. It’s a useful skill as you seek to nurture and develop your personal and shared sexual experiences. But if you’re like me, and the details become fuzzy pretty quickly and opportunities for learning, or even relishing, the memories wisp away like a dream, you might want to consider creating (or buying) a sex journal!

I’m a creature of comfort. I find something I like in a dating app and I stick with it. New and shiny isn’t always better. However, I climbed out from under my Tinder rock to offer you an inside look at some of the newer dating apps because sometimes, newer can be better. Here’s my breakdown of each experience. Take the quiz and read on so you can choose which is right for you.

If ice cubes and burning candle wax are the first things that come to mind when you hear “temperature play,” you’re probably not alone. For reasons that I do not understand (yeah, I’m biased against ice, sorry ice lovers!), ice is a commonly suggested way to play with temperature despite it often being too cold and many are unaware that regular candle wax can cause burns – yikes!

Thankfully though, there is so much more than working with the extremes. Keep reading to learn about how to incorporate temperature play and how versatile it can be!

Trauma sticks with you and can affect many different parts of life. Unfortunately, 70% of adults have experienced a trauma in their lifetime. Everyone responds differently to trauma and both sexual and non-sexual trauma can impact our sex lives. I won’t pretend that I can speak to all of the ways trauma interacts with sexuality. I will instead offer some of the tips that have worked best for my coaching clients (and myself) for intimacy after trauma, while honoring that you may have different methods that work for you.

There’s a lot of faulty and funky information out there in the sex world. Sometimes it harms us and sometimes it’s fairly neutral. Check out the following four myths about clitorises.

Solo sex is, by definition, solo. This works great for some but for others who are used to feeding off a partner’s sexual energy, it can take a bit to get into the mindset for a mind-blowing self-induced pleasure session.

Check out these inspirational suggestions to help you get those “juices” flowing.

Whether you are a huge fan of period sex or you generally avoid it, there are ways to make it easier, more comfortable, and better yet, more pleasurable!

SEX: TO PLAN OR NOT TO PLAN?

THAT IS THE QUESTION. WE HAVE THE ANSWERS.

if you’re concerned about how much (or how little) you masturbate, how you masturbate, or your level of enjoyment of solo sex, here are some mantras you can adopt.

I once heard someone say that women dress for themselves first, then for other women, and for men last. This was, of course, coming from a heterosexual perspective, but I love the liberation that comes when we realize that we can dress for ourselves first.

What is it?

Audio erotica is exactly what it sounds like – sexy stories that are recorded for your listening pleasure!

In a 21st century world, it can be hard to feel connected to anything other than your phone. With all the trouble of the world, choices in life, and struggles with mental health, it can be overwhelming to just exist. But there’s a way you can connect with your body and feel sexy through embodiment exercises. Heal through mindfulness, balance, and self-acceptance. Here are some practices you can add to your day so you can focus in life and the bedroom.